Ellis Jane Edwards.
“Maybe we will meet again when we are better for each other”
No, that line is such fucking bullshit.
I loved you with every inch of my fucked up heart and you couldn’t love me back.
I was in recovery. I still am and I will be for the rest of my life.
So please, if it is three years from now and you see me on the street, don’t come up to me in the hope that you could rekindle the fire you started in my bones.
You left me when I needed you.
When I was crying for you on the bathroom floor at 4 a.m.
And no matter how much time passes:
You will never be enough for me.
You will never aid my recovery.
You will only hinder it.
And so I’m sorry sweetheart.
I have to let you go.
Please know this isn’t temporary. This is real.
I gave you what I had left. I know it wasn’t much. But you spat it back at me anyway-
So please don’t have the audacity to think that time will erase that, we will never be enough for each other, we will never be better for each other.
You were a lesson,
but I confused you for a soulmate.
*Imagen de portada del post: Ofelea and the Flying Balloons (2009), Vikram Kushwah.